Thursday, April 17, 2008

NOTE TO SELF: Remember you prayed, "Lord, keep me humble!" and be prepared

To all of us who pray this prayer, the hardest thing is REMEMBERING that you did when...

  1. You head to the restroom after socializing for a bit and realize that no one bothered to hand you a mirror to 'clean up' a bit. (Yall know what I mean)
  2. You had that presentation all mapped out, notes all in order, looked over it all night long, just to get in front of a group of people to stumble, stammer and shuck and jive cause you suddenly caught an acute case of CRS, Cerebral Flatulence or Pre-Senior Momentitus. Then as you nervously head to your seat, you wipe your brow and realize, while arm is suspended in the air and you feel the cold air under your armpit, you're exposing your... Royal Dampness for all the world to see.
  3. You feel that run in your stocking travel from your foot to your back as you get out of your car, bus, train first thing in the morning, and of course you're wearing a skirt. Guys, ever spontaneously decide to try on some shoes but end up having to expose your holey or Holy (and maybe not so fresh) ones to that cute little clerk that you tried to shoo away in vain?
  4. Your new place, car, outfit that you've just been so geeked about, maybe a little too proud of, succombs to some type of uncover-up-able (if there's such a word) damage. And you're forced to look a little GHETTO for a while until you can get it taken care of. I'm ridin' durty right now yall, had a tire blow out and some of my molding is shot.... but it's okay, weez gon be alright!!!! We still ridin'.
  5. You're still in denial and will imitate an NBA player trottin down the court before you ever admit or even acknowledge the fact that you almost got OWNED!!! Hey, a little slip and fall never hurt nobody, spiritually speaking, it's GOOD for the ego. :)
  6. You're at the front of a long line, all eyes on you and...DECLINE. Somebody please hit me up as soon as they start accepting lint as currency !!! PLEEEEZ!!!
  7. You got 'dissed' in public and you had NO 'comeback'. (Not one that you wouldn't have to pray for forgiveness for later anyway)
  8. You have to speak all tight lipped cause you are in desperate need of gum. And it's always like a calling card for those people who have no sense of 'personal space' and what it means to you..... particularly at that time. God love 'em.
  9. You're in line at the bank, and you're praying "Lord, please give me the older, conservative teller, not the LOUD, MACY GRAY teller". And after ignoring Macy for a couple minutes hoping ole conservative's timing is good, you grudgingly smile and head in her direction, only to have her announce that your account is in the negative. I said ANNOUNCE!! (Why is the line so close to the counter any way, and why do they have such a great view of the transaction area. I guess for the same reason we can drive a car that has the ability to go 200 mph but we're expected to go 70, oh sorry... just venting) (clearing my throat) I mean... maybe if Macy would just go ahead and ANNOUNCE that I'm DEPOSITING MORE THAN ENOUGH to take care of the..... (okay.. i'm exhaling... moving on..)
  10. Da DaDa Daaaaaa (Fanfare!!! Hear the trumpets blowing? :) #10 yall is my personal favorite!! I should get many a comment from this one!!! You take the time to really CLEAN your home, I mean its polished, all in order, lookin like Home and Garden smellin like Macy's but despite your many efforts to keep your house 'decent' at all times (shout out to all the Single Parents), company always comes by when everything is STRAIGHT UP STANK!!!!! Grrrrrr!!! (Can I get an amen?!?, Holler if ya hear me LOL)

Thank you LORD that I have a place to live that I have to keep clean cause some don't.... BUT STILL!

When we pray for humility, we can almost be guaranteed humiliating experiences. It only makes sense. It's cool when we can laugh and not take ourselves too seriously. And above all else we have to remember: Our Father is drawn to humility, that shows our dependence on Him but he is repelled by Pride. That's us saying we have it all in control when we don't.

James 4.6-7 ..."God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

I don't want God's spirit resisting me at anytime, I want HIM in my life at ALL times. Isn't it funny that the media always wants us to embrace things that GOD says is not of HIM. But than again, Satan is the PRINCE of the AIR, is it no surprise that media travels throught the air. Keep your armor strapped yall, He's coming soon.

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